


Quiet Night

by CatrinaSL



Series: Three Things [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Claire Temple Deserves More, F/M, Idiots in Love, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, Syringe, Tampons, Three Things, gun - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 04:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13023444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatrinaSL/pseuds/CatrinaSL
Summary: Claire's just trying to have a quiet night, but apparently her apartment is an emergency room for wayward superheroes.





	Quiet Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [uruvielnumenesse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/uruvielnumenesse/gifts).



> For uruvielnumenesse, who requested Gun, Tampons, Syringe.
> 
> I know a mostly zero amount of medical things, so please ignore anything of that kind that doesn't make sense.

There was a frantic knock on the door, and Claire sighed. She deserved more.

When she opened the door, the scene in the hallway was exactly as she anticipated. “Darcy, not again,” she said.

“Sorry, I’ll try to stop getting mugged,” Darcy replied, and at least she sounded sincere this time. “He’s heavy, and kind of bleeding on me… can you help?”

Claire rolled her eyes and moved aside, and Darcy helped the heavily armored guy (Claire didn’t even want to _know_ ) into her bathroom.

“You know, we have these things now called emergency rooms…” Claire said as she followed.

“True, but we were close and he doesn’t exactly have a social security number, so…”

"What's with the outfit?" Claire wanted to know as she glanced at the flesh wound.

"He's sort of... visiting?"

"I am from Vanaheim, and happened to be speaking with Heimdall when he spotted Lady Darcy in trouble," the gunshot victim announced.

Claire gave the wounded warrior her best "don't give me that bullshit" look, and had enough left over to give an identical one to Darcy.

"Sorry," she said again. "I know it sounds weird, but it's true... I _do_ have an in with the man upstairs. Like, literally. It's why I'm not worried about walking home alone at night in this neighborhood. I don't just have Mew Mew to protect me; I have an actual god who sends actual mythical legendary fighters to back me up if I need it."  She gestured at the bleeding man sitting on Claire’s bathroom sink to prove her claims.

"Uh-huh," said Claire, but it sounded like, "Whatever you say, sweetheart." She waved at the cabinet behind her. "Hand me that, would you?"

"This?" Darcy asked, sounding baffled as she offered Claire a box.

Claire rolled her eyes. "Of course, tampons are crucial to treating bullet wounds."

"Well, that's where you were pointing," Darcy protested.

Claire corrected her, indicating the syringe nearby, and Darcy carefully handed the package over. "I think I'll put a few stitches in this just in case, and even your Vanna White protector—"

"Vana _heim_ ," the man interrupted.

"Right," Claire agreed automatically, then picked up her sentence where she'd left it, "—wouldn't mind a little anaesthetic."

Darcy seemed more nervous than usual as she watched Claire work, leaving the bathroom and pacing around the apartment, then returning to check on her progress. She hadn't ever been bothered by blood or gore the couple of times she'd dragged Barton to Claire's door, and this wound was the least life threatening Claire had treated in what was apparently her emergency medical apartment.

"What's your name?" Claire asked when she finished covering his arm with a bandage.

"Hogun," he replied, "of Vanaheim, boon companion of Thor and protector of Asgard... and of the Lady Darcy." He did a bowing thing with his head that Claire wasn't sure she should take seriously. If he _wasn't_ an alien, this guy was a pretty great actor.

"Okay, well, 'Hogun, boon companion of Thor,'" she glanced out of the bathroom to where Darcy was nervously chewing her fingernails. "I've never seen her so worried, so try not to throw yourself in front of any more _guns_ anytime soon, all right?"

Hogun frowned, turning his head to watch Darcy's behavior. "Lady Darcy is... concerned for me?"

Claire raised an eyebrow at him. "She wouldn't have brought you here if she wasn't," she said.

Darcy noticed when Hogun stood. "Is he gonna be okay?" she asked.

"I will be fine," Hogun said before Claire could. "I am only glad that _you_ are unharmed."

"Yeah, I..." Darcy blushed. "I'm fine, Hogun. Really."

Claire sighed. Her night off had been interrupted, yet again, by some injured do-gooder. It was her duty to patch up the wounded, but she was a bit annoyed that she had to play matchmaker, too. "Just kiss already, god."

"What?" Darcy blurted, blushing redder. "We're not—"

"You mistake our relationship," Hogun said at the same time.

"Do I?" Claire asked, chivvying him out of her bathroom as she peeled off her gloves. "She practically _dragged_ you here for medical attention. You took a _bullet_ for her. Do I really 'mistake your relationship'?"

Hogun and Darcy exchanged a look, and Darcy looked away first, bashfully.

Claire rolled her eyes again. "Go," she said. "Try not to aggravate the wound. And keep it down, would you? I'm trying to have a quiet night."

**Author's Note:**

> [Prompt a Three Things fic!](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf7S2MbkK0CxVHMG3kF8CD6fYqD0zwY-J6MqLb21nmFyRpE4w/viewform)
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/168576063253/quiet-night)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


End file.
